The truth is....I hate being lied to! I have learned not to trust anyone that calls me about taking in a child, and that's sad! We have been foster parents for 15 days and I have been lied to more times than I have fingers! I don't treat people that way so why to they feel the need to treat me that way? We are in this to help, but it's hard to want to help when you are lied to EVERY SINGLE TIME!!!!! Sad!
The truth is....It is as hard as they taught us! These kids are bounced around with no stability! They are MAD, they THROW FITS, they SCREAM, they FIGHT, they are kids that need LOVE! I know that people want to say "they are just kids" or "welcome to parenthood" but it's not like having a child and teaching them right from wrong from day one. It's not like having your child know you are mommy and daddy and that they are loved and wanted and they aren't going to be taken to a new home so what's the point in being good? These kids come to us needing to be taught everything all at once and that takes time! It's different, it's our life now, it's a learning process and we are trying.
The truth is....I love watching Teen Mom....oh wait, sorry, that's way off topic and my dirty little secert! Ha!
The truth is....I still struggle with the upcoming shower. I understand that everyone has questions, and I get that our situation is not "normal" but the truth is I will need a lot of things that I would have if it was my own child. Remember...we are going from no kids to having 2 kids and maybe more and we have nothing for kids. Also, my kids are behind from being bounced around so I may have a 3 year old in my home, but developmentally he's 2 (and younger in some areas).
The truth is....I spent Monday night crying my eyes out!!! not being able to reach anyone at DHS to help me, the multiple times of being lied to, the many outburst from the kids, the bombardment of question about the shower, I just BROKE!!!!!! I wept because I so desperately just want to have a baby the "normal" way and have a shower that everyone understands. I want so bad to know these kids and understand what they are saying, but the truth is they are strangers to me and I don't know there sounds, speech, personalities.
The truth is....my heart melted this morning when I woke up to the littlest one waking me up, talking over the monitor, saying.......mommy.
2 comments:
Hang in there. One day at a time. Keep your eyes on Jesus. As long as you are doing is will and what is best for your family it doesn't matter what anyone else says or thinks. Just turn it over to God. He is the only one that can change other people. I am very proud of you. Love ya Mom
Oh my goodness. I cried when I read this. I pray that God will give you the strenghth to handle each child in his or her own necessary, special way. May He continue to stir your heart with understanding as you know that these babies (as they all are in my mind) are frightened, broken, and desperate for love. God bless you and Matt. You're doing a great job. every mom has moments when they break down. Embrase those moments and cry out to the God who is in control of all things
Love ya!
Christina Johnson
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