To party or not to party, that is the question. I was approached about having a baby shower in August, but when I was approached I didn't know what to say. First, we were not having a baby so a baby shower just didn't feel right. Second, we had already gotten, what I felt at the time, a lot of items. Third, and here's the big one, I didn't not feel worthy of a shower of any kind. See, because I was not pregnat and we were not approved for Foster care yet I didn't know how to feel about this topic. During the next three months, I started to realize how much I didn't have. Is there a difference? I may not be pregnant, but everything on my list was as if I was having a baby. I was torn...I am still torn. I sit with tears running down my face struggling with this very touchy topic. My heart hurts and wish this was easy, but nothing ever has been.
So that brings me back to the question of the day....to party or not to party. When we got that final "yes you are foster parents" I was so excited!!! It was just like seeing that stick you peed on have two lines, or a plus sign!!! We were going to be parents! So to party, well of course I said YES! So why is it still so hard, why is my heart still struggling with this question that seems so easy (for once) to just say yes? I still feel so unworthy of a shower and how do you approach a baby shower when you are not carrying a baby?
The solution, you say, well I have had a lot of thought on this and I kept coming back to what a family is. There are so many different types of families ranging from traditional families, step families, adoptive family, and foster families. Yes they are all different, each unique in their own way, but they are all families! So we are not having a baby shower, but a family celebration. A time to just celebrate what a family is, the uniqueness of how a family comes together, the love a family shares. So yes I say party, but it has not been easy and yes I still struggle with my internal thoughts of being unworthy, but tonight ......... I party!
1 comment:
I am ready! I am excited! Celebration now, come on!!!
Let's have a party. I am going to be another grandmother again, or is that Nina as Alex named me or Nanie like Makayla calls me. Who knows? I will answer to anything except Ninner. My baby is going to have a baby or is that babies. What a special gift from God to be one of His adopted children. Love ya, Mom
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