The Wait is Over!!!!

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Bell:

Thank you for your support in serving children and families in the state of Arkansas.  You are now being invited to participate in the training curriculum that will prepare you to become a foster or adoptive parent.

This, my friends, is the beginning of a very anticipated letter.  As of Thursday, November 11th, Matt and I will be starting our 27 hours we need to be one step closer to our dream, our destiny, our family!  We will be done completing our hours on Saturday, December 18th, at 4:00 pm.  During this time, we will also complete two home studies, one for fostering and the other to adopt.  We are excited, we are nervous, we are VERY busy!!!!  Getting rooms ready, child proofing home, setting up beds, lock up knives (don't ask), draw a evacuation plan for fire and tornado (again don't ask), put latch on frig (I won't tell you what not to do here), hang 2nd fire alarm, finish decorating kids rooms, and buy necessities to be prepared!  I know there's more to do, but this will get me started. 

Our journey is starting to cut a path, but we are still in the woods.  A lot could happen and this road dead end.  There are no guarantees.  We are still waiting on our FBI report, and we have to pass both home studies, and who knows what else.  But my friends, we are hopeful!  We know that God has a plan for us and we are patiently waiting for that plan to play out.  I know that some days we have more patience than others, but we pray everyday that he gives us strength to carry us through this. 

Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE."  We live on hope, we have for 9 years 9 months.  Ever since we started trying to conceive, we live on HOPE and know that one day our FUTURE will be just as he, our all mighty GOD, had planed for us. Know this, we have not always listened to what he wanted, this has taken time.  Obviously I want my own children, that's my plan, but now I want his plan, whatever that my be or look like.  I have a child out there for me, in fact I believe with all my heart that I have several children out there for me, but not from me.  GOD's plan is much bigger than I could have ever dreamt! I can't wait to see what else he has planned for me and my family :)

Psalms 22:1-3 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want: he makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters: he RESTORES MY SOUL.  He leads me in paths of righteousness for HIS name's sake."  As heart broken as I have been, he will restore my soul and I will walk this path for his name and glory!!!! And everyone said....

The Meaning of Wait

It seems that the word WAIT is haunting me.  After my last post, I have found peace with my friends passing, but the word wait continues on in my life.  Today I looked up the word wait and these were my favorite:

•  to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens 

• to be available or in readiness 

• to remain neglected for a time 

• to look forward to eagerly

• a period or interval of waiting

For 9 years, my husband and I have been waiting for a child. For 9 years, we have tried with no luck.  We wait.  Now we are on a new adventure, an adventure that we have remained silent about, until now.  Matt and I are trying to adopt through the state.  We are also trying to become Foster parents, but I'm tired, sad, frustrated, heart broken.  For 5 months, we wait.  Finally, we hear that we are cleared to start the training and 3 weeks later, I'm still waiting.  No word, no letter, no info, just more waiting.  Today I called, again, to find out what's happening just to hear "we are waiting". For what you ask, well for enough families to start the class.  See they have to have X number of families at the training stage before they have another class.  When will that be? How much longer must we wait? Are we going on another 5 months before we get answers? How many families are we waiting on? 

So when I looked up wait, these stood out, and put them all together, is the story of our waiting:

• Our waiting comes in intervals, with us being neglected at times, but eagerly look forward, always available and ready, until something expected happens. 

So that is the meaning of Wait.......At least to us

I'm Waiting

A loss of a friend is many things...hard, sad, rough, unexpected, tragedy, unfair, or any other depressing word you can think of.  They say "time will heal the pain" or "it will get easier", well

I'm waiting.

For some reason, it has gotten harder.

I'm waiting. 

It has been exactly one month to the day that my friend, Sasha, passed away. The pain...still here. 

I'm waiting. 

Today her sister said something that has hit home for me. She said "today I can say I haven't seen her in one month.  It makes me sad that one day I will say I haven't seen her in 10 years." 

Her sister is waiting.

I will go to bed tonight and pray to God that this sadness will soon be lifted.  I will tell him that....

I'm waiting.

My First Post

Hello world!  This is my first post and hope to have many more.  I decided to start a blog because I know that I'm not the only one out there that feels like your being picked on my God.  I know God loves me and I love him, but some of the things I go through seems to much.  Somethings are just plain funny.  I have been approached before about starting a blog after sharing some of my stories, but I never felt it to be the time.  In the past few months, I feel like God has said it's time. Our journey is crazy, life sometimes scary and seems to be made-up, but I hope you follow along this wild ride with me.